I hope you are well.
I was asked to do an online training recently about developing confidence and belief in yourself. I put together my top 10 tips, the things that have really helped me on my success journey as a shy person, and still do today. I thought I would share them with you here. They may not all seem relevant to confidence at first, but they all have a role to play. I hope they help you as much as they’ve helped me.
1. Act as if
This was a tip that I got from Jack Canfield. His book ‘How to Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be’ is one of the first books I ever read and I gained so much from it.
If you want to be successful the quickest way to get there is to act like you are already successful. One of my mentors, a lovely lady named Jackie White always used to say to me “If you want to be earning 10K per month, act like you are earning 10K per month right now”
The same applies to confidence. If you want to be confident, why not start pretending that you are confident now? What will your life look like when you are confident? How will you talk? How will you stand? How will you dress? What actions will you take? Start to incorporate these things into your life now. If you need a little help, you can always practice the power posing technique that I’ve talked about in a previous post. This will help you through at the beginning.
2. Personal development
Here’s the key, it has to be something that resonates with you. If a book doesn’t interest or excite you save it for later. Find something that you can’t put down. It will excite you and give you confidence in all areas of your life.
3. Be organised
When you feel more organised, you will definitely feel more confident. I write “To Do” lists, sometimes on my phone, sometimes lists on paper.
When you write out a “To Do” list before you go to bed and then you get up and start to work through your list, ticking things off as you go, you will feel so proud of yourself.
I also sometimes write out a “Ta Dah” list. This is a list that I make at the end of the day, of everything that I have actually done that I didn’t know I was going to do. These are the things that just crop up with every day life. For example, if you are asked to help with some unexpected homework or run an errand for someone. Sometimes this list can be longer than your “To Do” list. Make sure that once you have written out this list, you go through each item one by one, give it a big tick and say “TA DAH!”
If I have something that needs to be done within a certain time frame, I will set aside time each week, for example when I was in the final stages of writing my first book, I dedicated Wednesday mornings to solely writing.
I sometimes work out of the house so that I don’t get distracted. I take myself to a coffee shop and work solidly for a couple of hours and achieve more than a whole day at home. I am doing this right now actually!
4. Stretch out of your comfort zone
I recommend taking small steps outside of your comfort zone. Don’t stretch too far in the beginning, just do things that are slightly uncomfortable for you. Imagine that surrounding your comfort zone is an area called the growth zone and surrounding that is an area called the panic zone. The aim is to stretch into the growth zone but not into the panic zone. Stretching into the growth zone will allow us to grow at a steady pace but if we stretch into the panic zone we may be so uncomfortable that we will not want to repeat the action. Eventually, things that are in your panic zone will move into your growth zone and they will become achievable for you.
Try and do something every day that makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
5. Learn how to accept compliments
When we receive compliments we often brush them off and this can be damaging, it can really lower our self esteem. Turn this around and start to accept them. It’s nothing complicated, you just have to say “Thank You”. It may be difficult to resist the urge to reject the compliment at first but just keep practicing. It will get easier. A compliment is a gift so think about it, you wouldn’t like to reject a gift from someone, so why would you reject a compliment?
Accepting compliments will improve your confidence massively.
6. Recognise small achievements
Break down your larger goals into smaller steps and reward yourself when you achieve them. This will inspire you to complete the smaller tasks and will give you a sense of achievement and satisfaction as you move closer to your goal. It doesn’t have to be anything substantial, just an acknowledgment that you have completed the task or reached the target. It could be a coffee at your favourite cafe or a magazine that you really enjoy.
7. Incorporate fun into your day
I’m really enjoying taking pictures with my Iphone at the moment, I aim to take a really good photo every day and then post it to Instagram. Because I love it, and it’s fun for me, its a form of relaxation.
What can you incorporate into your working day that you love to do?
Do you love reading or listening to podcasts?
Give yourself something to look forward to, for example breakfast with a good book, coffee out whilst dealing with some emails.
Create a nice environment for working in, for me I sit with my dogs, make a cup of coffee, light a candle, and ideally I’ve made sure the house is clean and tidy (or at least the room where I’m sitting)
8. Visualise your goals and future achievements
There are lots of ways to document your goals, goal boards, goal books, mind movies, lists of goals. Do whatever works for you.
Then, sit with your chosen method and imagine what it would be like to have these things in your life. One of my favourites is the dream jar. I write out my goals on little bits of paper and then fold them up and put them into a jar. Then when I come to visualise, I take a piece of paper from the jar, look at what I’ve written and imagine what my life would be like if it was real.
When you have clear goals and a vision for how you want your life to be you will feel more confident about everything.
9. Use the Law Of Attraction
What you think about you bring about.
I am passionate about the Law of Attraction and have been since I watched The Secret in 2005.
It’s always working in our lives, whether we know about it or not. Once you start to use it to your advantage, you can achieve the things you desire. It’s all about our vibration and how we attract things of a similar vibration.
You attract what you think about, but guess what? Most people think about what they don’t want. not what they do want. I have always tried to fill my life with so much positivity that there is no room left for negative thoughts.
When you realise that there is something higher than yourself assisting you on your journey, you will feel confident and self assured.
10. Have an attitude of gratitude
Be grateful for everything that you have in your life. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, just be grateful for the simple things. If you can show gratitude for what you have, you will receive more things to be grateful for.
Whilst we are on this topic, I want you to be grateful for who you are too. Start to embrace the person that you are, know that you don’t have to change who you are as a person. Everyone is different and we all have our own unique strengths. Yes, you will develop and become the best version of you, and you will gain confidence along the way. But you are still you and it’s important that you realise that.
I hope you enjoyed these tips and will start to use them to develop more confidence in yourself.
Please feel free to get in touch with any topics that you would like me to cover, or any questions about this post.
Have a great day!
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